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Do you need marriage counseling?

June 26, 2018

 Have you ever thought about marriage counseling? Fill out the assessment below and see how your marriage holds up!

 

Simple Marriage Agreement Assessment 

 

Read the following statements below and mark "agree" or "disagree" with each.

1. I like to pray for and over my spouse.  I enjoy worshiping and serving together at our church. We share a biblical worldview. 

 

2. I feel uncomfortable praying aloud together or over my spouse. Church, God and most religious activities do not play a significant role in our life. 

3. I am emotionally open and I feel free to share my hopes and dreams as well as my fears and concerns with my spouse.

 

4. I do not feel emotionally safe and secure. Sharing hopes, dreams, fears and concerns will be viewed negatively and will be used against me.

 

5. I am able to easily share non-sexual and sexual physical touch with my spouse. I like to hug, hold hands, cuddle and I feel like we have an adequate sex life.

 

6. I am restrained and rarely share non-sexual and sexual physical touch. I am uncomfortable hugging, kissing or touching my spouse. Our sex life is not at all adequate.  

 

7. I have good and clear communication with my spouse. I speak lovingly and kindly to my spouse. I feel heard and encouraged by my spouse.

8. My spouse does not listen to me. We have subjects that are “off limits.” We either fight  angrily and loudly .Or, we avoid the issues and give or get the cold shoulder.

 

9.  I am completely transparent, open and honest about everything. Phones, computers and social media accounts are unlocked and open at all times. My spouse is the same.

10. I do not feel comfortable leaving my phone, computer and social media accounts unlocked and open.

11. I trust my spouse and  they have complete freedom to do and go as they please. I am  in agreement with there schedule and socialization. My spouse feels the same for me.

12. I feel controlled, trapped and restricted. My actions are always being questioned. I am not allowed to hang out with my friends. I never get to go anywhere or do anything.

13. I constantly give and receive kindness, patience, respect and honor.

14. There are unresolved issues and persistent bitterness, resentment,  or anger that keeps coming up. 

 

15. I am always appreciative and I always feel appreciated. I like to do things for my spouse and he/she does the same for me.

 

16. I am extremely criticized all of the time. It seems like I can never do anything right. Or, I am critical of my spouse. They can never do anything right.

 

17. I put my spouse's needs above my own needs. I try to predict what spouse's needs are and I work to meet those needs. My spouse does the same for me. 

 

18. I put my own needs above my spouse's and he/she put there needs above mine. 

 

19. I feel like I am needed and that I belong to my spouse. I need my spouse and he/she belongs to me.

 

20. My spouse does not need me. My spouse does many things without including me. I am left out of my spouse's life.

If you agree with five or more of the even numbered questions then you probably need professional and pastoral marriage counseling. 

If you agree with five or more of the odd numbered questions on the marriage assessment quiz then your relationship is in good shape. 

 

I took your quiz now what?

Most couples decide to go to counseling in a crisis or as a "last ditch effort." I strongly recommend that you seek counseling before entering into crisis mode. If you are in crisis mode then do not delay and give me a call immediately. 

 

Believe it or not, marriage counseling can be informative and fun! At My Life Counsel we use an assessment to get a clear picture of your individual temperament. Your temperament is kind of like your personality. Typically speaking, most people are attracted to and even marry someone very different then themselves. Those different qualities that you admired at the beginning of the relationship become the differences that cause division in your relationship.  

 

Maybe your not in crisis but taking the relationship assessment quiz made you feel like something is missing from your marriage. Your doing ok but you desire a stronger and healthier relationship. The goal in marriage counseling is to renew the relationship, bring awareness to how God has wired you and to build a God intended brand new intimate relationship.

 

Every person is different in the way they need love and affection. Through counseling, love and affection can be renewed. You will learn how to show emotional, spiritual and physical intimacy to your spouse. In return, you will receive love and affection the way that you need love an affection. 

 

This assessment was created by Scott Inman, M.A. as a thought provoking exercise only.  
 

Read more about your needs for love and affection. Click here

 

 

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